"When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not."

"Violence is a tool of the ignorant."

"Funny is an attitude."

"The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down."

"You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine."

"The devil made me do it."

"Discretion is the better part of valor."

"You can never get the smell of smoke out. Like the smell of failure in life."

"I might be President by now if it weren't for this 'queer' thing"

"I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough."

"In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known -- no wonder, then, that I return the love."

"The only person worth envying is he person who doesn't envy."